Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
we made out on top of his cat.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize