clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize