Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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