Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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