How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
