your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
