thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
