saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
No subtext here. People are naked.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
