After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
