Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
