dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
