She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
