im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Sorry my hands just texted you
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
