dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
