You can't motorboat a personality
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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