so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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