i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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