i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
