are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
