I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
