Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
No subtext here. People are naked.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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