3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
