I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
