You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Randomize
