and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
