Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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