did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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