Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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