That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize
