when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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