Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
