i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
