Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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