it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize