please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
