one word: firstdatebathroomanal
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
