if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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