This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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