I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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