I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
