Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
