Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
