what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
