If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
