last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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