i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
