Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
