my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
