So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
