my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize