In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I am midnight drunk by noon
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize