This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
