do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
