Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
