Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
