tell your sister to shave her snatch
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
