I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
