meet me or not, i'm out of control
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
