I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
