I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
